Monday, June 22, 2009

Shapen Up or Goin Down Tryin........

Don't be fooled by this angelic face.........my daughter is killing me and I have no one to blame but myself.... and maybe the two pieces of lemon meringue pie I had yesterday, but I ain't telling her that.......I thought I could handle her one on one personal training sessions, but I am sinking faster than the Titanic... I mean I am in a world of hurt.......Pain.......

You see, I had gotten tired of hearing my fitness fanatic princess talk about how so in so had lost so many inches and so many pounds after training with her in a few short weeks, and ever time I see her perfect tone and fit body compared to my jiggly wiggly one.....Well, I liked hers better....So I decided to see what my daughter was made of (in the world of personal training), That was my first mistake........I agreed to do three days a week of personal training with her and wanted her to treat me just like any other client....That was my second mistake.........When She-Ra princess of power showed up at my door on day one she had her game face on and it was a little scary....She immediately started to tell me what I was capable of doing.....not the other way around....I was told to engage my abs while breathing and tighten my butt while putting my poor body in positions it hasn't been in in a very long time...did I mention you have to keep focused....These things she did, and didn't break a sweat......Me, all I was trying to do was keep the muscle spasms to a minimum and not pass gas......These are not possible things when your middle age and out of shape.......It's not possible to breath and hold in your stomach while tightening your butt and every other muscle you forgot you had.... Way to much thought for my mind.....And this was all on day one, by Friday I couldn't raise my arms to wash my armpits....I just stood in the shower in tears and hoped for the best.....No worry about over eating....Cant raise the fork to my mouth.....By the end of the week the fruit of my loins didn't look as sweet and innocent to me as she does in the picture, as a matter of fact I am kinda afraid of her, and I cry when I hear her vehicle.....

My child, The Mistress of Burning Pain as I have come to call her has put me through a week of torment and tears and today another week of agony began.......We did our workout in the pool with something she called low impact aerobics....And when I can move again I will take twelve ibuprofen and go out to the pool and look for my spleen... because I am sure it is out there floating....

LOW IMPACT MY BUTT!!!!

I will keep you posted....If I survive........

5 comments:

Sue said...

Hahaha-this was good. Hope you survive. And , I wish I could do that...........(too lazy!)

LindainNCtoo said...

You are too funny---

Some people are born to be fit....I enjoy being out of shape and jiggly.

J'ellen said...

I need someone like your daughter to get me moving...apparently running around a couple times a week looking for nature's photo ops isn't enough to lose a single lb. Hang in there...

DesertHen said...

Excuse me while I wipe the tears from my eyes. That was good! Hang in there.....and don't let She-Ra Princess of Pain see you cry!

Montanagirl said...

This was just toooo funny. Absolutely loved it, and love your blog. You go, girl!
Mona